COM 112- Test 3

The active process of making meaning out of another person's spoken message. active process- you make yourself do itcreate meaning-not like hearing (hear the same but construct different meanings/listen differently)only in speaking- not non-verbal or written

Recieving input (not interpreting what you hear)

Hearing is the same as listening: hearing is only the perception of sound (hear sounds continuously). listening is paying attention to the sound, assigning meaning to it and responding to itListening is natural and effortless: listening is a learned skill not an innate ability like hearing. we are taught to listen effectively. learn to listen better through instruction. can improve itAll listeners hear the same thing: we all filter messages in different ways based on our biases and and past experiences

HURIER model: a model for effective listeninghearing- first physical process of hearingunderstanding- comprehend the meanings of the words you hearremembering- store something in your memory and refer back to itinterpreting- paying attention to verbal and non-verbal cues, then signal your interpretation to the speakerevaluating- judge whether speaker's message is true, separate fact from opinion, consider other info you have from speaker or other sourcesresponding- giving feedback verbally and non-verbally-stonewalling: responding with silence and lack of expression-backchanneling: nodding your head or using facial expressions to show you are paying attention-paraphrasing: restating in your own words what speaker said-empathizing: share speaker's feelings-supporting: express agreement -analyzing: providing your own perspective-advising: giving advice of what speaker should do

information listening: listening to learn somethingcritical listeing: listening with the goal of evaluating or analyzing what we hearempathic listening: listening to experience what another person is thinking or feeling

NoisePseudolistening and selective attention (false listening or listening to only what you want to hear)Information overload Glazing over (daydreaming with time spent not listening)Rebuttal tendency (debate a speaker's point and form reply while speaker is still speaking)Close-MindednessCompetitive interrupting

- need to belong: born with a need to form social relationships- bring rewards: emotional rewards (support, happiness), material rewards (money, food, shelter, transportation), health rewards - carry costs and rewards: material, time costs BUT rewards of friendships are worth the costs

The process of forming relationships begins with interpersonal attraction (any force that draws people together)Physical attractionSocial attraction- attracted to personalityTask attraction- to someon's ability and dependabilityalso... personal appearance, proximity, similarity, and complementarity

Predicts that people seek to form and maintain relationships in which the benefits outweigh the costs. (Comparison Level- what you think you deserve, CL alt- assessment of how good your current relationship is compared with your other options)

Predicting that a good relationship is one in which your ratio of costs and rewards is equal to your partner's.over-benifited/ under-benifitedif not even you will not maintain the relationship

behaviors used to maintain and strengthen personal relationships.positivity- make other people feel comfortable around us (acting friendly)openness- your willingness to discuss your relationship with your friend or relational partnerassurances- verbal and nonverbal behaviors that people use to illustrate their faithfulness and commitment to otherssocial networks- share social networks with otherssharing tasks- performing your fair share of the work in your relationship

-Require deep commitment: put aside small differences-Foster interdependance: one' s actions affect the other-Require continuous investment: we put more time and recources into relationship (equal investment)-Spark dialectical tensions: conflict between two important but opposite desires (autonomy and connection, openness and closedness, and predictability and novelty)

Eros: beauty and sexuality (physical attractiveness, quick, loving, happy)Ludus: entertainment and excitement (love is a game, affairs, slow moving, selfish, dishonest)Storge: peaceful and slow (having shared interests and activities, lacks passion and intensity, honest, mature, understanding)Pragma: practical and traditional (family oriented, hardworking, caring, seek a relationship that will work)Mania: extreme highs and lows (love and worry intensly, jealous, obsessive, desire to posses and be possesed)Agape: passionate and selfless (giving and not recieving, alturistic)

1. initiating: meeting and interacting with each other for the first time2. experimenting: having conversations to learn more about the other person3. intensifying: moving from being acquaintances to being close friends4. integrating: forming a deep commitment and developing a relationship with its own identity5.bonding: making a public announcement of commitment to each other

1. differentiating: finding differences with your partner to be unpleasant and annoying2. circumscribing: decreasing the quality and the quantity of communication with the partner3. stagnation: "going through the motions" of a relationship that is no longer satisfying4. avoding: creating physical and emotional separation from the partner5. terminating: formally ending the relationship