Interpersonal Communication Ch. 10

-license to violate some relationship expectation, custom or rule
-ex: long-term friends or romantic couples may tast eachothers food or fix eachothers clothing

-behaviors that serve to continue your relationship
-to keep relationship intact
-prevent dissolution
-to keep relationship at its present stage
-to keep relationship satisfying

-emotional attachment (you love eachother)
-convenience (difficulties involved in finding another person to live with or another partner so staying together is easier)
-children
-fear
-intertia (change is too much trouble)
-commitment

Among married couples, wives use of maintenance strategies has a more significant effect on the satisfaction, love and commitment that couples experience
-be nice
-communicate
-be open
-give assurance
-share joint activities
-focus on improving yourself

Causes:
-poor communication
-third-party relationships
-relationship changes
-sex and work related parties
-financial difficulties
-beliefs about relationships

effects:
-loss of all benefits or rewards
-loss of self esteem
-practical issues

-withdrawal: decrease eye contact and touching, decreased desire to talk and listen
-decline in self-disclosure: limit them b.c of non acceptance from partner
-deception: clear-cut lies to avoid arguement
-positive and negative messages: increase in negative, decrease in positive, cute habits become annoying, and what was now different is now inconsiderate

-recognize the problem
-engage in productive communication and conflict resolution
-pose possible solutions (win-win)
-cherishing behaviors
-integrate solutions into normal behavior
-risk

Both partners need to change their unproductive patterns

-relationships becoming unbalanced
-repeated negative patterns
-enablers
-forming relationships with people your family doesn't approve of